This trek started in January. I gave my midseason grades in July. Now that the end of the year is near, I wanted to close this arc with my final grades for 2016’s superhero movies.
As I touched on initially, this is a subject near and dear to me. I grew up loving the exploits of DC and Marvel superheroes, although I did gravitate more towards Marvel eventually. I also eventually learned to love characters outside of the Big Two.
(Especially Hack/Slash. It’s a rather recent find, but my GAWD I love Hack/Slash! It’s an Image Comics book now, but Devil’s Due started this. Seriously. All you comic fans stop reading this and go get those books RIGHT NOW!
But come back. I have important things to say. Really.)
I decided I’m going to tackle this end-of-year retrospective as a professor would. I’ll revisit my original comments, follow up with a midseason blurb, and summarize my feeling along with a final grade. I’m omitting movies that were scheduled in January but disappeared by July.
Remember, these are my opinions. I’m not right all the time, but I’m ALWAYS right in my house. Current occupancy: 1. Not counting haunting spirits and alternate personalities.
NOTE: There will be some spoilers below. If you want to avoid them, skim through my final grades and ignore everything else.
I’d love to hear what you think, though. Once you’ve read this diatribe, make sure to let us know what you think.
Deadpool (Feb. 12)
What I Said in January:
“Deadpool’s tone looks nearly spot-on in the trailers so far, and I’m getting good vibes from Weasel and Blind Al, my favorite supporting characters. But for this to succeed, the movie cannot be just one-liners and the demolishing of the fourth wall. Reynolds needs to sell himself as Deadpool in more than just jokes.”
What I Said in July:
“This movie had to do one thing and one thing only: be true to the Merc with the Mouth. And Fox CRUSHED IT!”
My Final Verdict:
This movie was nominated for two Golden Globe awards, the first of the more recent batch of “superhero” movies to do so. I guess it was good.
I put “superhero” in quotes because some believe Deadpool earned the nominations for not being a movie about a superhero. And looking at the movie, I see where they’re coming from. The titular character is not a superhero in the traditional sense. His motivations are entirely personal; the greater good does not make an appearance here.
Still, Deadpool is a superhero movie in that it adapts a comic book “hero” for the big screen. And it did so marvelously. The movie focuses more on Wade Wilson, the non-costumed persona, more than the Merc with the Mouth. And that is a good thing.
It helps that Ryan Reynolds’s charm and comedic chops shine throughout, whether costumed or not. The supporting cast helps as well, with the beautiful Morena Baccarin (no, seriously, call me) pulling her weight as Vanessa. TJ Miller’s Weasel and Leslie Uggams’ Blind Al are almost perfect. Add Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead to the mix, and you have comic nirvana.
But I cannot discount Ed Skrein’s turn as Ajax. He matched Wade beat-for-beat, giving this movie a foil that most Marvel Studios movies wish they had. Seriously, who would you rather have as a baddie in a movie, Francis or Ronin? Ronin was melodramatic; Francis DID SHIT!
This movie was everything it was supposed to be. That’s all a comic book fan would ever want!
Final Grade: A
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Mar. 25)
What I Said in January:
“Please don’t let Lex Luthor have the personality of Perez Hilton with tons more money. Please don’t let that gun in Batman’s hands be his actual strategy for fixing shit. Please let Wonder Woman be the strong, compassionate hero she is supposed to be, and not just a runway model with heroic pretentions. And please, please, PLEASE don’t let that lava ninja turtle be Doomsday!!! I know it was announced that it IS Doomsday, but say you Punk’d us and move on! Let it be a lab-created Zod mutant and nothing more!”
What I Said in July:
“This…fucking…movie…”
My Final Verdict:
I finally get where it was trying to go. But it shouldn’t take me NINE FUCKING MONTHS to get the point!
The movie infuriated me when I first saw it. Ben Affleck’s take on Frank Miller’s Dark Knight was really spot-on, despite my initial horror at his use of firearms. Gal Gadot’s take on Wonder Woman was actually refreshing. After so many failed attempts at bringing Princess Diana to the big screen, we finally get a performance worthy of optimism.
It was Henry Cavill’s Superman and ESPECIALLY Jesse Eisenberg’s “Lex” Luthor that made me want to strangle a cat.
I don’t blame Cavill entirely. He has to work with what he’s given. I was initially on the fence with his portrayal of the Man of Steel in 2013, and eventually fell off on the negative side. He did nothing here to redeem himself. If anything, he seemed more clueless in this film. I know Kal-El is supposed to be noble to a fault, but he’s practically brainless here.
Eisenberg’s turn as Luthor was worse to the point of being painful. OK, it took me a while, but I think I understand his motivations better upon reflection. I feel he has a real hatred of God, and sees in Supes a god he is able to take down. But he still pulls everything off like his last name is Ipkiss and he had a Mask on the entire time! Seriously! I compared him to Kabuki Theater in July, but that was a borderline offense to Kabuki in general. Bottom line: he needed a bit of restraint.
Despite his histrionics, the movie still could have been salvaged. The confrontation between Batman and Superman had some weight, even though it was manufactured. The resolution was hokey but could be defended if you really examine both characters deeply. Jeremy Irons’ take on Alfred was great. Snyder may have his detractors as a director (add me to the list), but the man can frame a shot, which he does here numerous times. And the movie’s score is amazing. There were the making of a good movie here.
Then “Doomsday” appeared and fucked everything up! Realy? There was NO other way for Batman to realize a team of Super Friends was needed?
Cousin Jose was kind enough to school me on the overlapping storylines in this movie. It was Frank Miller’s Dark Knight when Batfleck was on screen. During his dream sequences, it had hints of the Injustice storyline, with Supes deeming himself the ultimate arbiter of justice. Okay, I see that, and I had completely forgotten about Injustice. Where my mind hits a brick wall is with the inclusion of The Death of Superman, a comic book story arc that did NOT need to be in this movie rife with storylines and angles. The moment “Doomsday” showed up, everything went to hell in a handbasket.
(I am encasing “Doomsday” in quotes because that is NOT Doomsday. Doomsday is an extra-terrestrial creature raised to kill and bent on destroying the Last Son of Krypton, Superman. “Doomsday” is a lava ninja turtle that walked on set and wouldn’t leave, so Zak gave him a part in the movie. FUCK lava ninja turtle “Doomsday”!)
On reflection, I can excuse some of Batman v Superman’s faults, but only some. But I shouldn’t have to wait more than a week for the movie’s direction to finally hit me.
Final Grade: D
Captain America: Civil War (May 6)
What I Said in January:
“The story is looking to be very complex and dependent on many characters and spinning wheels. Please don’t let the story become so convoluted that it buckles under its own weight. And PLEASE don’t let Spider-Man (my 2nd favorite Marvel character after Deadpool) be wasted!”
What I Said in July:
“Captain America: Civil War is neck-and-neck with Captain America: Winter Soldier as the best-told story in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”
Final Verdict:
Captain America: Winter Soldier is still the superior film. But it’s not by much.
Sooner or later, Marvel Studios is going to make a truly bad movie…I think. Personally, I think Thor: Dark World and Iron Man 2 were as close as they’ve come to true stinkers. Avengers: Age of Ultron was okay but disappointing. One thing is for sure. While odds are they will inevitably misstep and make a bad movie, I can’t see them make a better movie than the last two Captain America movies.
The latest entry, Captain America: Civil War managed to put a new spin on a huge comic book story arc. It was able to deftly introduce new characters while fleshing out others. Throughout it all, despite the movie feeling like an Avengers movie, the movie is still centered on Captain America and his ideological dispute with Iron Man. And as huge as this movie is, this movie ends up being very personal.
Everything is done amazingly well. The new characters are introduced well, especially Tom Holland’s Spider-Man. And they didn’t ruin him! Holland’s turn at Peter Parker almost made me forget about Tobey Maguire’s portrayal, which was the gold standard until now. Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther was supremely badass.
I only have two gripes with the movie. The first is Zemo, who was pretty ineffectual as a bad guy. Seriously, why didn’t he just send Tony Stark a VHS with a note saying, “You need to see this?” The second gripe is one I almost wrote about: this movies pussed out!
The final act of Civil War in the comics was the signature moment of the entire story arc. After Civil War concludes, Captain America, who was sentenced to jail, is apparently assassinated by Crossbones. Of course, it turns out that a brainwashed Sharon Carter shot him. Of course of course, he wasn’t killed; it was just a flesh wound.
Point is, the movie didn’t even attempt to broach the idea. As much as I love what Marvel Studios has done for superhero movies, the Disney in them shows up right here. Say whatever you want about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but they had the balls to off one of their heroes, even temporarily. Not just a hero, THE hero. THE icon! Marvel barely had the guts to have blood on Cap’s face.
This movie was great, but the last of intestinal fortitude needed to even temporarily kill Captain America is a fault in my book.
Final Grade: A-
X-Men: Apocalypse (May 27)
What I Said in January:
“I’ve accepted all the deviations in continuity the X-Men reboot and its sequel have taken. I’m on board, so long as the story and the essence of my favorite super team in Marvel canon remain intact. So far, First Class and Days of Future Past have been okay. But…Ivan Ooze from the Power Rangers as Apocalypse? Storm, Psylocke, AND MAGNETO (!!!!) as Horsemen, EVEN THOUGH Caliban (aka War, an actual Horseman) is present? Bryan Singer and company, y’all better know what you’re doing, or this will fall apart quick! Please don’t fuck up Apocalypse OR the Horsemen!”
What I Said in July:
“This movie, however, is a travesty to anyone who loves comic books, and to people like me who cherish X-books in particular. Fuck this movie in the poophole!”
Final Verdict:
I had no good expectations for this movie. Everything I saw leading up to its release prepared me for the disappointment. After watching an early screening with Punisher, however, I actually walked out more disappointed than I thought I would. Now THAT’S commitment to sucking!
I knew they were going to ruin both Apocalypse and Oscar Isaac. I felt no dread from the character. Apocalypse is supposed to be an ultra-powerful, extremely imposing villain. Here, he was just a nuisance. The fact that he NEEDED his Horsemen to do the dirty work – as little as there was – is testament to how emasculated he was in this movie. The Ivan Ooze comparisons have been played up by many, myself included. But I think Ivan Ooze can actually take this chump in a street fight. That’s saying a lot.
Charles Xavier doesn’t get off that easily, either. If they’re going to fuck up the abilities of Apocalypse so much, relegating his mass-changing powers to the astral plane, can they at least get right the fact that Xavier can absolutely PANTS En Sabah Nur in that plane? Is he the world’s most powerful telepath or is he not?
Oh, that’s right. Jean Grey is. I actually didn’t have too much of a problem with the portrayal of Jean Grey…until the Phoenix Force showed up.
I…I just…
Look…
I have loved the X-Men comic books for decades. And the Dark Phoenix Saga is one of the greatest story arcs in X-Men comics, maybe one of the top three in all of Marvel. Jean Grey being selected by the Phoenix Force, her dark turn, and the swath of destruction her turn caused to the UNIVERSE was a great story. It hurt my physically, mentally, emotionally, and psionically when they totally fucked up the Dark Phoenix Saga in X-Men: The Last Stand. This is the second time Fox tries to tell the story, and they fucked it up all over again! I don’t expect them to follow the comics beat-for-beat. But I DO expect that they try to give the Phoenix Force more weight and significance than, “I have bad dreams!”
Seriously. Fuck Fox right in the right eye for this movie. They ruined Apocalypse, one of the most menacing villains in the X-universe. Fuck Fox for bastardizing the Dark Phoenix saga AGAIN! And fuck Fox for not just doing a deal with Marvel Studios, returning the X-Men and mutants in general to their rightful home, and trying to squeeze a few more cents out of the property while pissing on my childhood!
As for the Quicksilver scene? Yea, I was the only person in the theater who was not impressed. It was cute; it was also cute – and done better – in Days of Future Past.
Final Grade: L (because F wasn’t bad enough)
Suicide Squad (Aug. 5)
What I Said in January:
“The lone casting question in my eyes revolves around Jared Leto as the Joker, and that’s a BIG question. Look, I know that Heath Ledger (RIP!) faced the same scrutiny when he was announced as Joker for The Dark Knight Returns, including from me, but this Joker is such a deviation from everything we know and love about the Jester of Genocide that it’s frightening. Please don’t let that one performance derail this movie!”
What I Said in July:
“After what I have seen in the time between my article’s posting and San Diego Comic-Con, I am so into this movie!”
Final Verdict:
I believed in you, Suicide Squad. Even with all the negative press about reshoots and multiple cuts, I wanted to believe in you. And you fucked it all up.
The numerous reshoots and differences in tone are apparent throughout the movie. The entire movie is disjointed. Too much emphasis was given to some characters (hint: the stars) at the expense of the others. El Diablo’s story was teased in bits; Killer Croc was notable in the absence of his story. And Captain Boomerang? Well, he’s a wanker and…yeah.
Worse, the characters that did get prominence didn’t pay off properly. Yes, Will Smith’s Deadshot was everything we expected from a Will Smith character. Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn grated on my nerves about 15 minutes after I was introduced to her, which means she played the role perfectly. And Viola Davis was absolutely PERFECT as Amanda Waller…but so?
With Cara Delevigne’s Enchantress acting more like a melodramatic goth chick than a foil and Joel Kinnaman’s Rick Flag being a “hurt boy”, any tension this movie could’ve built was wasted.
Worst of all, all the buildup for Jared Leto’s Joker led to the payoff of…about 10 minutes of screen time. And what we DID get painted him as nothing more than the meth king of South Beach. You know, a place that doesn’t have a meth problem.
I really wanted this movie to succeed. The DCEU could’ve used the shot in the arm after Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice caused so much backlash, and the thought of a group of real anti-heroes being established was a great wrinkle that Marvel would never try to fully realize. Yes, they have Guardians of the Galaxy, but they’re not at the level of the Suicide Squad.
Ultimately, it did work out in a way. Deadshot and Harley are rumored to be getting standalone movies, and the DCEU will chug on with Wonder Woman and Justice League movies next on tap.
Still, this movie could have been so much better. I believed that we would be getting better. Maybe we will, eventually; I wanted it to be here.
Final Grade: D-
Doctor Strange (Nov. 4)
What I Said in January:
“This movie is most likely going to dig deep into the occult, and even the great Benedict Cumberbatch might not be able to rescue this project if the story loses the audience. Yes, I know that moviegoers are savvier than most people give them credit for, but movies like [this] generally succeed because of phenomenal screenwriting and a director who knew how to convey it. Please let the script and direction be airtight and easy enough to follow that the average person doesn’t get lost.”
What I Said in July:
“The exploits of Doctor Stephen Strange would make for a fascinating movie. However, the subject matter still scares me. Will the general public be willing to accept a story as complex as this? Will Marvel Studios dumb this movie down and pander to the lowest common denominator, killing the narrative? I have no idea. I’d like to give Marvel Studios the benefit of the doubt…but I worry.”
Final Verdict:
Sooner or later, Marvel Studios WILL slip up and give us a bonafide stinker that makes Thor: The Dark World look brilliant in comparison. I mean, their movies can’t all be good, right?
Right?
Doctor Strange is not that movie.
My biggest worry – its obtuse subject matter – was handled deftly. We’re introduced to the existence of the multiverse and all the occult practices that the Sorcerer Supreme wields very gently, but without minimizing its weight on the MCU. It was also very well-grounded; everything is weaved into the existing MCU continuity effortlessly and seamlessly.
My one real gripe with the movie – Strange’s personal motivation and how he seems to not learn true humility – is still a gripe after multiple viewings. The sheer convenience of no one being able to stand in the way of Mads Mikkelson’s fun-to-watch Kaecillius – a minor player, ultimately – is also worthy of a few shouts of shenanigans. If Strange could grasp the intricacies of the most powerful abilities available to a sorcerer, surely Tilda Swinton’s Ancient One could have swatted Kaecillius to the side like an annoying mosquito. Well, we did need Strange to resolve things; he IS supposed to be the Sorcerer Supreme.
Also, Rachel McAdams was woefully underutilized, both as the supposed Night Nurse and in her role as Strange’s love interest. Her initial setup was well done, but her character was squandered in acts two and three. Her presence was there in his affection for the watch she had given him, and he does turn to her when a good medical hand was needed with guidance. But that’s all she was; an instrument for Strange, nothing more. She was his grounding and his motivation; she wasn’t her own person.
One thing worth mention regarding this movie: it has the absolute BEST supporting cast a Marvel movie has been afforded outside of McAdams.
Say what you want about whitewashing the Ancient One, but Swinton was great in her role. Benedict Wong’s portrayal of Wong was awesome, and he was my favorite character in the movie. But Chiwitel Ejiofor’s take on Mordo was excellent. His turn from stalwart believer to eventual bad guy is deftly portrayed. Seriously, when is this man going to get more credit for his acting chops? He is one of the three best actors in Hollywood, and I will bludgeon anyone who says otherwise with their own right leg!
(Metaphorically speaking, of course. I’m a drinker, not a fighter.)
Standing center stage in this movie, however, is the movie’s effects. Great care was taken to ensure Steve Ditko’s original artwork in the comics was preserved. In IMAX 3-D, this movie is an acid tip for the sober. Some of the effects are merely visual in nature and meant to trip you out through your eyes. Others are meant to really bring the abilities of Strange – and the Eye of Agamotto, his trusty artifact – to life. The penultimate battle, where Strange, Mordo, and Wong are fighting against Kaecullius and his goons in real time as downtown Hong Kong is moving IN REVERSE around them is both a testament to the power of the Eye and to the sheer trippiness of the powers on display.
Is it flawed? Every movie is. This movie can stand above its flaws, though, and be a very entertaining film. But those flaws may nag at you a bit.
Final Grade: B+
Whew! That was a lot of praise and vitriol. 2016 sure was an interesting year for superhero movies. Here’s to hoping 2017 ups the ante. Things to look forward to: Spider-Man: Homecoming, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and Wonder Woman are due in 2017. Things to fret: so are Power Rangers and Transformers: The Last Knight. In the middle are Thor: Ragnarok, Logan, and Justice League: Part One. Here’s to hoping these movies take it up a notch.
