I know, I know. I said I wasn’t going to delve into movies and comics again. But I have a good excuse: I have to put this to bed.
Back in January of 2017, I listed all the superhero-based movies coming out this year. In July of 2017, I gave a mid-year update where I graded the early entrants and commented on new happenings with the late ones. This will officially put 2017 – and this series – to bed. Whether or not Punisher or Cousin Jose pick up this mantle is entirely up to them. All I know is, I’m not!
In retrospect, 2017 was a banner year for superhero movies. While there were a few disappointments, they were not nearly as bad as what we endured in 2016. If that is an indicator of the movies’ quality going forward, I’m highly optimistic about 2018. Especially because Avengers: Infinity War drops in 2018. I can’t possibly be excited enough about that movie!
Cousin Jose, however, doesn’t entirely share my feelings for 2017. Just wait until we get to Power Rangers.
The LEGO Batman Movie (Feb. 10)
What I Said in January:
“Y’all can call this cheating, because it’s not a real superhero movie. It’s a LEGO movie starring a joke character, right? It’s not a real DC or Marvel movie, right?
Y’all ain’t seen The LEGO Movie if you’re bitching about this movie!”
What I Said in July:
“I figured this was a safe bet. My only real concern was that The LEGO Batman Movie would take the joke of Batman in The LEGO Movie and turn into a feature-length showcase of every Batman meme you can find. You know, that he’s brooding, always prepared, a loner, and forever haunted by the death of his parents.
Well, in The LEGO Batman Movie, Batman is brooding, always prepared, a loner, and forever haunted by the death of his parents. But he is far from merely a meme. It all works here.
My Final Verdict:
There really isn’t much to add here. The LEGO Batman Movie was the fun, silly-ass romp we all expected it to be. A small part of me still considers the act of adding this movie cheating, but I don’t care. Batman is in it, so it’s a superhero movie. It’s also a good superhero movie. Not great, but very competent.
Final Grade: B+
Logan (Mar. 3)
What I Said in January:
“Much was made about this movie’s R-rated turn after the success of Deadpool. Listen up…Wolverine has ALWAYS needed to be R-Rated! He is not a namby-pamby spandex-wearing crusader for justice and all that bullshit. He lives to tear shit up, and you can’t do that and stay within a PG-13 rating! The success of Deadpool just gave Fox a reason to get their finger out their ass and do right by Wolverine, my third favorite superhero after Deadpool and Spider-Man.”
What I Said in July:
“Logan is a proper send-off for Hugh Jackman, the only Wolverine we’ve ever known on the silver screen. The R rating gave director James Mangold the ability to go ham with the violence. The result is a movie that pays proper homage to the Cannucklehead.”
My Final Verdict:
Is Hugh Jackman done as Wolverine? If Fox stays in control of the X-Men franchise, yes. But with Fox agreeing with Disney in a deal to sell its entertainment division, who knows? Jackman did say he would revisit the role if the MCU ever got a hold of Wolverine. But he recently nixed that idea recently. So yea.
While it’d be great to see the ol’ Cannucklehead alongside Spider-Man and sparring with Hulk, I sincerely hope Logan is the last we see of Jackman as Wolverine. Admittedly, it’s a sentimental wish. In my eyes, Logan was Wolverine at his absolute best. Yea, we didn’t get the black-and-yellow suit, but we got the berserker rage that Disney (supposedly) would never allow.
I’ve had the benefit of multiple viewings of this movie since its release. While I find new things to bitch about with each viewing, I love the end result even more.
It was bittersweet seeing things end as they did for both Logan and Xavier (Patrick Stewart), but it was worth it. Logan especially went out like a boss, cleaving through scores of enemies with his signature berserker rage. Seeing him do it alongside his protégé, Laura Kinney, aka X-23 (Dafne Keen), was even better. Keen was brilliant in the role of Kinney, and I can only hope she continues from here on out. If her performance here is any indication, X-23 is in great hands. And claws.
Will Jackman take one last victory lap should Disney buy Fox? Probably not. But I hope there isn’t another Logan. It’s perfect as-is and doesn’t need revision or ret-conning.
…but seeing Logan and Captain America talk about their war stories might make my head explode in glee!
Final Grade: A
Iron Fist (Mar. 17)
What I Said in January:
“…as the run-up to the big superhero team, this series has a lot riding on it. If this series stumbles, the following mash-up will be on shaky ground. I want to see this and the next series succeed. Marvel and Netflix have done well thus far; don’t screw it up now. PLEASE let Iron Fist be good so that The Defenders can start off with a bang!”
What I Said in July:
“After nine years and several movies and series, Marvel has released its first bonafide stinker. No matter how rosy a picture I try to paint, Netflix’s Iron Fist is a disappointment. The series smells like roses all right. The dead kind.”
Final Verdict:
I hate being the heavy here. I wanted Iron Fist to succeed. In addition to adding another badass to the Marvel Netflix series, I wanted the momentum to keep rolling for when The Defenders dropped. It all hinged on this series establishing Danny Rand, aka Iron Fist (Finn Jones), as the absolute one-man wrecking crew he is supposed to be.
What we got instead was a Starbucks barista that wanted praise for writing someone’s name right on the cup. Worse, Iron Fist was less about him and more about the Meachums. It might have been for the best, though. Iron Fist was a chump.
Enough has been said about Finn Jones’s portrayal Rand. Instead, I’ll focus on the fact that the story told here doesn’t really center on him. Instead, it focuses on the Meachum family, who assumed control of Rand Industries after the Rand family was presumed completely gone after a plane crash. When Danny shows up, saved from death by the monks of K’un-Lun, the series begins to focus on how Danny’s appearance affects their life.
Seriously, I think Netflix should’ve made a series called, The Meachums. It could’ve had all the drama of Empire, but with kung-fu. Who wouldn’t watch that?
(Well, me. But still…)
No, I wouldn’t watch it. I wanted to see a young man who was sequestered in a mythical realm, learning kung-fu and turning his hands into glow sticks of destiny. Upon returning to New York, I wanted to see him wreck The Hand’s shit. Instead, I saw some chump who was better proclaiming his title as the Immortal Iron Fist and less so about backing that up. Just in this series, I saw him get nearly wrecked by an ordinary guy in a business suit, Bakuto (Ramon Rodriguez), a woman who managed to seduce him even though he KNEW she would be an enemy, and a drunk guy.
That last one isn’t fair. The drunk guy is Zhou Cheng (Lewis Tan), the Drunken Master. But he’s drunk. So Iron Fist nearly got wrecked by a drunk guy.
Meanwhile, Colleen Wing (Jennica Henwick) handled guys nearly twice her size. In a cage match. UFC style. In the same series. And many pundits claimed she was weak. So yea.
Oh, and did I mention that he can only get one hand to glow? Danny, even BRUCE LEROY did better! Ya POSER!
(Sidebar: can we PLEASE get Taimak to be the Immortal Iron Fist? Okay, Danny Rand is supposed to be a ginger white boy, but people got mad at Marvel anyway when they didn’t have an Asian person portray him. I say go full-out and have an Italian-African-American portray him. Not only is Taimak more personable than Finn Jones, he is a legitimate Black Belt in SEVEN disciplines, INCLUDING WING CHUN! How awesome would it be to have Iron Fist also be Ip-Man?????)
Iron Fist was the first sign that something attached to Marvel Studios could fail. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last.
Final Grade: F
Power Rangers (Mar. 24)
What Cousin Jose Said in January:
“I don’t want this movie to fail, even though my rant on the Power Rangers trailer says otherwise, but this is part of my childhood and I would like for this franchise to do better.”
What I Said in July:
“The Power Rangers became a sensation way after I would care about them. My son, however, was absolutely obsessed with them. I’m kind of glad he didn’t go see Power Rangers in theaters. I’m sure he would’ve been disappointed with the movie. I am, and I don’t care for the series.”
Final Verdict:
I didn’t care for the Power Rangers movie. As a self-contained movie, I found it boring. To me, it felt like the typical “teens becoming heroes” trope I’m sick of. It’s not as offensive as Iron Fist, but it’s still not good.
But this movie isn’t for me. I have never been into Power Rangers. They appeared well after I cared about such things. My son was the one to catch the fever. While I didn’t discount the ability to be engrossed in this film, I wasn’t all that interested in the source material. The movie didn’t convince me to care about the source material, either.
But Cousin Jose did invest his childhood with them. He is way more passionate about them that I will ever be. So I asked him what he wanted to add about the movie. Here’s his take, unedited, straight from our Hangouts chat:
fuck that movie
fucking bullshit of a movie that we only get to see the Rangers in fullsuit for like 20 to 30 minutes
fuck that movie
i dont care about them as fucking kids. it was bullshit and starting off with a dick joke. that movie can go to fucking hell along with Jared Leto Joker!
no i aint salty!
The only thing I can add to that is an anecdote involving my three-year-old great-nephew. He is also a rabid fan of Power Rangers. I went over to visit him one day, taking the Power Rangers DVD as a tribute. Within 20 minutes, he was bored with the movie. Even when I skipped all the fluff and got to the final fight sequence with Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks), I couldn’t get a rise out of him.
This is a child who is willing to slog through all the talky bits in Captain America: Civil War just to get to the airport fight scene and see Spider-Man. Granted, there’s much more action before his favorite scene there than there is in Power Rangers. But he wasn’t even interested in seeing just the big set piece in Power Rangers.
His words: “Boring.”
Cousin Jose’s Final Grade: L
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 5)
What I Said in January:
“Marvel hasn’t totally wrecked a movie yet. The worst Marvel Studios film, in my opinion, is still Thor: The Dark World, and that movie was just average. Please don’t let this movie be Marvel Studios’ first bomb!
What I Said in July:
“And I was worried this movie would trip up because of higher expectations.”
Final Verdict:
There have been lots of folks who wrote off Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 as an also-ran to the original movie upon its release. I’m guessing they were expecting more of the irreverent tone the original set. They must’ve wanted something light-hearted and fun. Instead, this movie was deeper and had way more feels than anyone expected.
Whatever they were expecting, they’re wrong. This movie was awesome.
The only complaint I could possibly levy against this movie – and this is a serious nitpick – is that the jokes are thrown at the audience at a breakneck rate. There isn’t enough time for a joke to land before another joke launches. For brief moments, it was a bit much. Perfect example: the scene where Rocket (Bradley Cooper) and Yondu (Michael Rooker) are captured and Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) is charged with helping them escape. The jokes ranged from silly to macabre, but I couldn’t recover from one fast enough to soak in the next.
That was my biggest complaint about the movie. And it’s not a complaint. I just wish director James Gunn gave me enough time to breathe.
Everything else about the movie was spot-on. I couldn’t have asked for a better sequel. To those who complained, I’d like to know exactly why.
Final Grade: A
Wonder Woman (June 2)
What I Said in January:
“If this movie fails, fuck the DCEU. If this movie fails, fuck Warner and DC. If this movie fails, Cousin Jose can kiss my ass about DC forever! If y’all can’t get Wonder Woman right, stop making movies. Go back to your TV shows and your animated movies. I’m not pleading here; I’m threatening.
DO! NOT! FUCK! THIS! MOVIE! UP!”
What I Said in July:
“Thankfully, Warner Bros. did not screw Wonder Woman up. The movies is actually one of my favorites thus far. Maybe my favorite of all.”
Final Verdict:
Year’s end and this is still one of my favorite movies this year. So I guess Cousin Jose is safe.
I still have issues with Act 3. Ares is a weaksauce antagonist for Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) here. He was poorly set up, and the payoff was bogus. But the first two acts were very well done. They were the antithesis of everything the DCEU stumbled to establish.
It helped that Gadot was a brilliant ray of sunshine. I had tons of worries about her portraying Diana of Themyscira. She, and director Patty Jenkins, proved me wrong. Gadot was everything I hoped a live-action Diana would be. She ain’t Lynda Carter – I mean, who could be other than QUEEN herself – but she was great.
Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) and Queen Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen) headed a cast of supporting characters that more than hold their own. Again, Ares was the only character who really lacked any weight. Had Wonder Woman faced an enemy worthy of praise, the movie would have been perfect.
Still, I am quite pleased with what I saw. For once, the DCEU met and, in some ways, exceeded my expectations. Ares still sucks, though.
Final Grade: B+
Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 7)
What I Said in January:
“This is the chance for Sony and Disney to show everyone that inter-studio cooperation is fruitful for all parties involved. I know about the rumors of Fox dealing Galactus and their multiverse to Disney. I want to see Spider-Man: Homecoming succeed so that more inter-studio collaborations happen. I want to see Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch confront Magneto. I want to see Adam Warlock introduced so he can punch Galactus the World Eater in the face. And I really want to see Deadpool get punched in the face by Thanos because of Lady Death!”
What I Said in July:
“Spider-Man: Homecoming is pretty good. But I don’t think it’s the world-bending masterpiece fans claim it to be.”
Final Verdict:
I’m still rather lukewarm on this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed it. But there was something that left me wanting.
It wasn’t Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man (Tom Holland) himself. It’s the first time since I saw Tobey Maguire take on the role that I felt Parker was in good hands. If anything, Parker is better here. He looked and acted like the insecure teenager that I expected.
It certainly wasn’t the main foil. Adrian Toomes, aka the Vulture (Michael Keaton), was awesome. He was small-scale in terms of MCU villains, but Spider-Man is a small-scale hero here in reality. Regardless, Keaton took on the portrayal and looked to have lots of fun with the role.
The small scale of the movie is what I think hobbled it. The movie is well-paced, and lots of things work really well. The prom confrontation with Toomes and Parker is incredibly tense and seems to turn up the stakes. Seeing Spidey struggle to get through the suburbs – where there are no buildings to swing from – was really funny. But the stakes are relatively small-time compared to the happenings in the MCU proper. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s less impactful.
And I think that’s what the movie aims for. The goal here was to emphasize the “friendly neighborhood” aspect of Spider-Man. It easily hits that mark. But something about the movie holds me back from outright loving it. I wish I had the cinematic chops to express what I mean effectively. But while I enjoyed the movie, I was less invested than I feel I should have.
It’s still a very good movie, and one I feel people should watch. But in a slate as crowded as this year’s was, I wouldn’t get mad if someone felt less enthusiastic about it.
Final Grade: B-
Those were the titles that I saw when I wrote the midseason article. The ones that follow had not come out. These are new impressions.
The Defenders (August 18)
What I Said in July:
“I still have my reservations. My main worry back in January was that the series – shrunk down to eight instead of the usual thirteen – would need to rush too much. Considering that so many characters from the Marvel Netflix Universe are involved lends credence to my worries. The trailers tell me that The Defenders is in good hands. I still worry because so many characters and so many stories need to coalesce, meaning there are so many points of failure.”
Final Verdict:
After the absolute train wreck that Iron Fist was, my hopes for this series diminished. After watching it, only part of my worries was assuaged.
As with Iron Fist, Danny Rand is the weak link here. Thing is, he’s the main focus of this series. It’s his presence, or lack thereof, that ends up dooming The Defenders.
Well, it’s not his fault entirely. The Hand still does its best impression of ninjas and fails horribly. All Five Fingers are revealed, and two of them are absolute non-factors. Alexandra Reid (Sigourney Weaver) does her best to humanize this troupe of ninja clowns, but even that falls short. What’s left is nothing more than quick scenes that are cool, and lots of down time that does little more than eat up time.
Still, those quick cool scenes tried really hard to endear me to The Defenders. Danny Rand was ineffectual, but seeing him next to Luke Cage (Mike Coulter) brought a smile to my face. Seeing Cage interact with Jessica Jones (Krysten Ritter) was a nice complement to what they faced in her series. And Daredevil (Charlie Cox) is still an absolute badass when fighting. Lots of small things worked very well.
Too bad the overall series didn’t. I liked seeing four flawed heroes banding together to stop a greater evil. It’s too bad that that greater evil was so weak. I would’ve rather seen The Kingpin (Vincent D’Onofrio) take these Defenders on. At least, he would’ve matched their power sets. I mean, Wilson Fisk can punch; that’s pretty much all these heroes can do really well.
I do have to give kudos to the interactions between the four members of The Defenders. During the episode in the Chinese restaurant, all of their hang-ups are played off well. They’re not a trusting bunch, and it’s played very well on screen. Seeing them talking to each other while remaining guarded – except for Rand – was cool. Jessica Jones, in particular, was great. I can spend all day watching her call bullshit on Rand’s diatribes.
That wasn’t enough to save The Defenders. I can only hope that the Marvel Netflix series recovers from here. Judging by The Punisher, which I’ll discuss later on, they can do it.
Final Grade: C+
Thor: Ragnarok (Nov. 3)
What I Said in July:
“My biggest fear for this worry was that it would be a Thor movie that was as uninteresting as the last two. With director Taika Waititi behind the camera, I hoped it wouldn’t be. After what I’ve seen after two trailers, I really think it won’t be.”
Final Verdict:
This movie was a lot of fun. It took the God of Thunder to new and absurd places. And I enjoyed it.
Seeing Thor (Chris Hemsworth) at his absolute lowest was surprisingly funny. Add the efforts of Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), and you have an epic tale.
The tale was enhanced by the presence of Hela (Cate Blanchett) and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson). Both brought a lot of complexity to Thor’s tale, and the movie wouldn’t have been the same without them. Still, Hela’s role was more vamp than foil. After wrecking Asgard, she became little more than an expository dump. That ruined her sheen. Likewise, Valkyrie’s story had epic undertones but lacked real substance. That’s a shame, because both ladies assumed such lofty personas.
All that said, the movie was a thoroughly enjoyable romp. It injected humor into a character that was extremely dry and self-centered prior to this movie. Seeing Thor crack the odd joke or two was delightful. Seeing threats to his vanity – like the cutting of his hair – was jarring but fun.
And if anyone reading this has any ill thoughts about Korg (Taika Watiti)…well, I’ll take you to the woodshed out back and beat some sense into you! KORG IS LIFE!!!
Final Grade: A-
The Punisher (Nov. 16)
What I Said in July:
Nothing.
Final Verdict:
When The Punisher was announced, my midseason report was already posted. I knew I wanted to see it, but no date was announced.
When the series aired, I was pleased with what I saw. It had issues, but I enjoyed it.
Contrary to what was expected (by DCN mate Punisher…no relation), The Punisher was more than just an extended series of executions. Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal), the aforementioned Punisher, turned in a very human performance. You know he’s a stone-cold killer if you saw Season 2 of Daredevil, but seeing his human side was a revelation. He owned the role, and it shows in the final product.
The revelation of his main antagonist, Billy Russo (Ben Barnes), is subtle but cathartic by the end. The catharsis doesn’t begin or end with Russo, though. By the time we reach Castle’s showdown with Russo, we’ve reached similar cathartic moments. The amount of carnage Castle racks up is astounding. But the series takes the time to develop Castle as more than just a vigilante.
Most of that development is shown with his dealings with Micro (Ebon Moss-Bachrach). The fact that Castle can empathize with anyone is a big deal, and he shows it with his dealings with the hacker turned vigilante. His dealings with Daredevil stalwart Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll) further show that’s he’s not altogether unfeeling. I really enjoy how far the series goes to humanize Castle.
Too bad that the rest of the supporting cast is not up to snuff. Daniel Webber’s Lewis was a letdown, only because his character was trying too hard to be the negative version of Castle. Amber Rose Revah’s Dinah Madani was also trying too hard, in my opinion. I appreciate what she was trying to achieve, but I wasn’t feeling it. That may be a failing on my part, but it’s a failing nonetheless.
The net result is that The Punisher was pretty great in parts but dragged down in others. I still enjoyed seeing it, but it wasn’t as great as I had hoped. DCN’s Punisher praises the series to high heaven. I’d like to share in his exultation.
Final Grade: B+
Justice League (Nov. 17)
What I Said in January:
“As popular as the Avengers are as a team, THIS is the superhero mega-group that all teams aspire to be. For all my love of the X-Men and my history with the Avengers, THIS is the team-up I have been waiting for my whole life.
So if they fuck this up, it will hurt.”
What I Said in July:
“There’s been a lot of turmoil in the DCEU before Wonder Woman, and there has been a lot of turmoil since. From the personal tragedy that has befallen Zack Snyder to the rumors surrounding Ben Affleck’s desire to end his tenure as Batman, the DCEU has been in flux. I’m not in a capacity to talk about Snyder’s personal issues. Nor am I going to acknowledge or dispel any rumors surrounding Affleck and his desires to wear the cowl of Batman. I’m just a nerd who wants to see a great Justice League movie.
I don’t know if Justice League will satisfy my urge…but it sure looks like it will.”
Final Verdict:
Hey, at least it wasn’t Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Amirite?
Jokes aside, this was still a bad movie. It may not have been as bad as BvS, but that’s a low bar to set. Even Justice League, beset by controversy, over-hyped expectation, and directing and editing problems, is better than that shit show.
It didn’t satisfy my urge, though.
And yes, a big part of the movie’s issues begin and end with the change in directors mid-flight. But studio meddling had as much to do with the movie’s problems as the tonal shift in direction. Whatever the cause, the result was a movie that struggled mightily under its own weight.
That doesn’t mean it was completely bad. The lighter moments have Joss Whedon’s fingerprints all over them. Those scenes are fun and help up break up the morose tone endemic to Zack Snyder movies. Despite the whole annoying shtick, I liked how Ezra Miller portrayed Flash. Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman was still great, and it was surprising to see Henry Cavill actually act like Superman for a bit. Ben Affleck’s Batman is more subdued here, but I still enjoyed how he portrayed the Dark Knight.
And, as I said in July, seeing Aquaman (Jason Momoa) surf on the body of a Parademon in the air and through a building and emerge unscathed, swinging his Pantene-starved hair, will ALWAYS be awesome!
But the tonal shifts are jarring. So are the restrictions WB put on the film crew. Say what you want about Zack Snyder’s vision, but his interpretation of the DCEU is not the problem. I’m down with gritty, macabre stories based around DC characters so long as they nail the essence of the superheroes portrayed. But WB has to commit to it. Don’t bring Whedon in to add a few jokes just because people like jokes. And don’t step in and try to dictate to the directors how long their movie should be and what should happen. Many parts of the movie seem cut up to death. That
Oh, and Jason Momoa? How can you be such a larger-than-life character and be so lifeless as Aquaman? COME ON, MAN! I also wasn’t a fan of Ray Fisher’s Cyborg. But still…JASON MOMOA???
All this being said, Justice League was still better than I expected. That’s not saying much. I expected a train wreck; I got a derailment without injury instead. But there was a good movie hidden within all the crap. And unlike BvS, it didn’t take 6 months and some re-viewings to find it. That, to me, is progress.
Oh, and WB? Maybe you can spend more than six weeks to digitally remove a mustache? And maybe you shouldn’t rely on a CGI villain if you can’t pull it off realistically. I’m not trying to compare you to Marvel Studios, but the comparison can’t be avoided. Guardians of the Galaxy made me believe there was a talking raccoon and a vocabulary-stunted walking tree were on the set. You can’t remove a Goddamn mustache effectively on FUCKING SUPERMAN or make a villain that’s less cheesy than a Power Rangers baddie?
(Cue to Cousin Jose yelling, “FUCK YOU, UNCLE WILLY! IT WAS REAL TO ME!!!”)
Final Grade: C-
That ends my look back of the superhero movies and my thoughts on them. It also ends my direct involvement with both movies and comics. For now. I’m sure I’ll end up being dragged into another team review of something. Punisher is like that. It’ll most likely be Black Panther, as I hope to see that movie as soon as it’s released. I’d like to stay focused on gaming, however, so I’ll resist the urge.
And there will be more gaming-related content from me. My life-forced sabbatical from DCN is over, and I hope to post more stuff soon. Hopefully, it won’t be more loot box shit, because FUCK THOSE THINGS and everyone knows it. Hell, I may even be happy writing about games again! We shall see.
