What am I supposed to say here?
This is a trailer for the upcoming Fox’s upcoming Deadpool 2. Everyone remembers how insane the marketing campaign for the first movie was. Did anyone expect anything different this time around from this teaser trailer, ” Getting Wet on Wet?”
I’ll tell you what no one could possibly expect: BOB ROSS!
The storyline for the teaser trailer is nonsensical and amazing, the product of a wordsmith high on meth. Or Ryan Reynolds. It’s hard to tell sometimes. Here’s the storyline:
After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.
Okay, fine. Funny joke. But the REAL genius is the video itself.
I don’t care how great Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds…DUH!) looked the first time around. The moment he appears in frame, wearing a blonde afro in front of a canvas, palette in hand and The Joy of Painting theme serenading your ears, EARTH WINS! The shot of him whacking his brush against the easel leg is just gravy on top. I’m not even going to try to summarize the visual gold on display. Just watch.
Of course, the teaser shows more than the brilliance that is Deadpool Ross. There are some brief quick-cut shots from the movie. Allow me to highlight some of the more notable in my eyes.
Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), Weasel (T.J. Miller), Blind Al (Leslie Uggams), and, most importantly, Dopinder (Karan Soni) all return from the original movie. Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) also returns, this time wearing a new ‘do and X-Force-esque threads. Domino (Zazie Beetz) also makes a very brief appearance. She does nothing more than kick a door open, but this is a teaser, so yea. Colossus (Stefan Kapicic) does not appear, but he’s bound to show up.
Another unknown mutant, portrayed by Julian Dennison, is seen inside some anti-mutant-looking hall. This mutant isn’t named, but the only one I can think that fits in the X-Men universe is Pyro. He appeared in X-Men: The Last Stand, but this could be a recast. Other than that, I can only think of Sunfire. That would be a stretch; Sunfire is not exactly a pyromaniac in the comics. He’s also Japanese there. But then again, Negasonic Teenage Warhead was a telepath and disciple of the White Queen in the comics – something I found out after I saw Deadpool – so who knows?
Notably absent from the teaser trailer is Cable (Josh Brolin). He makes two very brief, very small appearances, but not in full, live-action form. After the movie shots, Deadpool Ross reappears in front of a canvas painting of the cast that “he” painted. Cable is shown standing with Deadpool. In the trailer’s final stinger, you see Cable’s mechanical hand grabbing a gun. That’s it.
It was a given that this movie’s marketing was going to be as bonkers as the original’s. Deadpool even appears on a Good Housekeeping cover. That means we’ll be getting equally bonkers stuff in the months leading up to Deadpool 2‘s Summer 2018 release. If it can top Deadpool Ross, I’m so in!
