Video games shouldn’t make people this crazy. This is the sort of behavior normally associated with drugs.
Here’s a sample of headlines that have popped up since Nintendo released Pokemon GO, their mobile rendition of catching cute pocket monsters in real life:
- Can’t get Pokémon Go in your country yet? Here’s how to download it now
- It’s a thing: Pokémon Go invades Seattle
- Pokémon GO: Australian police caution app hunters
- Nintendo’s stock surges after Pokémon Go rocks iOS and Android devices
- Pokémon Go’s unexpected side effect: injuries
- Teen Playing “Pokémon Go” Stabbed And Mugged For His IPhone; In Bad Neighborhood
- Wyoming teen playing new Pokémon game on phone discovers body
When Pokemon GO launched in Australia and New Zeland for Android and later iOS, I was curious. When an APK was available for download, I grabbed it to see what the big deal was. I went outside, saw myself pointing my phone at my neighbors’ houses looking for virtual pocket monsters…then I went back in my home, uninstalled the app, and felt profound shame. A grown man looking for Pokemon? Yea, shameful.
I have since reinstalled the APK on my phone, caught a Squirtle in my backyard (DON’T JUDGE ME!), and wondered when I’m gonna tour my neighborhood again. Vodka, it seems, can mask even THAT kind of shame.
Video games can’t possibly make people this crazy! It’s like the players are on meth, only they might be able to keep their teeth.
I envisioned chaos the moment I heard about Pokemon GO. But people nearly hit by cars? Stabbings and muggings? Australian police telling people not to go into their stations looking for virtual creatures? This goes beyond chaos and into pure lunacy! For crying out loud, the Department of Transportation for Washington state felt compelled to issue a statement warning people to NOT play and drive! “No Pokemoning from behind the wheel,” was the EXACT quote!
If your weekend includes looking for #Eevee on #PokemonGO, please do so safely. No Pokemoning from behind the wheel. pic.twitter.com/Kt9CmTOKiP
— Washington State DOT (@wsdot) July 8, 2016
I mean…seriously? A video game can cause THIS level of stupidity and mayhem? Are we sure Walter White had nothing to do with this game’s development?
It may not last, but for the moment, Nintendo seems to have THE game everyone wants to play. And in some small way, I get it. The allure of walking around the real world and finding virtual Pokemon to catch and battle is the real-world dream-come-true for anyone who has ever played the Nintendo RPGs. As someone who has played the original games, I’ll admit to a bit of a desire to do my worst Brock impression and seek out some Pokemon to train. And my son? He can’t even stay in his own skin anymore! And the worst part? This is a free-to-play game with microtransactions. I fear Nintendo just turned everyone’s smartphone into a money printing machine!
As for me, I’ll probably lose interest in this game soon. As cool as it may be to hunt around for wild Zubats or Rattatas, it requires me leaving the house. I can’t do that; that’s where I keep my vodka! Pokemon GO, you may be fun, but you are not vodka!
Okay, fine. I’ll play until I catch a Pikachu. But not a moment after that! Or…maybe I’ll evolve him…
