Release Date: December 29, 1995
Developer: Masaya
Publisher: Nippon Computer Systems
Many people have been complaining for years that games that are released stateside often lack variety. It’s hard to argue with them. True, there is some real innovation going on in the indie space, but the AAA market tends to rely on also-ran cookie-cutter games to fill out their release schedules. Whether it’s a by-the-numbers military shooter; an annualized series like Madden or FIFA; or another me-too open-world sandbox game, there are a lot of copycats.
As a North American gamer, the best way to experience true variety in gaming is usually to think outside our borders and look to the Far East. There has been an active grey market in importing Japanese-region games for quite a while. Japan has thousands of titles that have never made it to our shores, with subject matter that many here may find controversial or even just plain wrong.
Well, if we’re gonna go controversial and just plain wrong, best to go full Monty.
Cho Aniki is the Westernized name for Chō Aniki: Kyūkyoku Muteki Ginga Saikyō Otoko , the third in a series of Japanese shoot-em-ups. There is no direct one-to-one translation of the game’s name; a pidgin translation turns up, “Super Big Bro: The Strongest, Most Ultimate Invincible Man in the Milky Way.” So there’s that.
This entry was developed by Masaya and released in 1995 for the Sony PlayStation and Sega Saturn. The series is well known for its intense homoerotic visuals and setting. This game is just…I mean…look for yourself!
That video was of the first level only. I couldn’t get past it no matter how much I tried.
Part of that stems from the visuals. And no, I don’t mean the subject matter. For the PS1 and Saturn, Masaya decided to go with digitized actors instead of the colorful sprites that graced the previous games on the Super Famicom and PC-Engine CD (SNES and Turbografx-CD in North America). I don’t know the reason why they did it. All I can say is that the images of digitized bodybuilders with lasers coming out the top of their heads, or ripped torsos with wings, is pretty disturbing. More disturbing are the boss characters. I defy anyone to make sense of the first boss in the video!
As a bonus, the PS1 game includes a making-of movie that includes video of the photoshoots that produced the digitized beefcakes. Make of that what you will.
The other reason why I couldn’t get past the first level is that the game is brutally difficult! Your character fires standard pea shooter bullets and occasionally can fire a special beam that decimates foes but leaves him or her stunned for a second. The standard shot doesn’t do enough damage, however, and the special charges sporadically. Apparently, the special is charged by the globs of protein (I’m not touching that one!) that some enemies drop. But they don’t seem to drop regularly. As a result, players will feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of enemies and lack of firepower. Deaths are a very frequent occurrence.
Another frequent occurrence will be bulging eyeballs and looks of shock on your face as you play. Once, years ago, a friend of ours actually reached the third level with my game. The shrieks of horror from him AND us at what was seen is still spoken of today. There is nothing pornographic, but…you know all those jokes made at the expense of Japanese culture and humor? Well, they might sometimes be insensitive, but they have an origin. This game is a perfect example of that origin.
Does the game hold up? As a shoot-em-up, not really. The brutal difficulty may push some to beat it for bragging rights, but in my eyes, it crosses the line from challenging to unfair. A challenge can be fun; an unfair game just makes you chuck controllers into walls. If you play this game with friends around, however, the looks of shock on their faces is an undeniable blast. Of course, some of your friends may then question why you purchased the game. I have no shame, so I tell them simply: to see the look on your faces when I play it!
Should you want to try this madness, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be imported anymore. Cho Aniki is available on the PlayStation Store for the PlayStation 3, PSP, and Vita.
Good: Premise is good for some shock laughs; decent controls and gameplay
Bad: Gameplay is brutally, almost unfairly hard; even harder to ignore the subject matter; not very good looking graphically
Final score: 5/10
