Release Date: September 23, 1982
Developer: Mystique
Publisher: Mystique
The second generation of video games was literally the Wild West. Nowhere was this more evident that when it came to video game releases. With no licensing programs for third-parties, there was no “quality control” for games, which meant that console manufacturers couldn’t weed out bad games or bad game ideas. Nowhere was this more evident than on the Atari VCS/2600.
As the most popular console of that generation, it garnered the most attention from fly-by-night developers and marketers with dumb ideas. For example, did you know that there was a game called Chase the Chuck Wagon that was distributed by PURINA? As in, the dog and cat food company? Those were the kind of genius game ideas that helped bring about the Video Game Crash of 1983.
Another third-party publisher, Mystique, made its name during this time with another genius idea. Mystique was the brainchild of Caballero Control Corporation, a pornographic video company, and American Multiple Industries. The first video game from this venture was Custer’s Revenge, the first ever “pornographic” video game. And it was a hot fucking mess.
The game has the player control the titular Gen. George Armstrong Custer. He is naked except for a cowboy hat, boots, a scarf; and he is at “full attention.” His only action is to move from left to right on the screen. At the right of the screen, a Native American woman is naked and tied up to a pole. The player earns points from having Custer reach the woman and give her a bit of the ol’ “in-out in-out.” The only things preventing him from just running up to her and getting randy are arrows that fall from the sky.
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There are about 53 things wrong with that game description and the video. “A cowboy rapes an Indian for points,” is pretty much the message here. Nice message, eh?
Other than the subject matter, there is nothing noteworthy about the game. It is another standard 2600 dud, with horrible, blocky graphics and generic sounds. Yes, the 2600 was not a technical powerhouse, but classics like Missile Command and Pitfall showed that it was a capable machine. In fact, if it wasn’t for the subject matter, this would just one of a hundred terrible 2600 games that helped sink an industry.
The controversy, however, was enough to get buzz. Custer’s Revenge sold about 80,000 copies. At $49.95 a pop, easily the most expensive 2600 cartridge at the time, it made Mystique enough money that two more games were released: Bachelor Party and Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em. Like Custer’s Revenge, they had pornographic concepts. And they were also terrible.
Eventually, public outcry sank Mystique. Rights groups and legislators succeeded in banning the game in certain parts of the States and retailers refused to carry the games. Atari itself tried to sue the game out of existence. The games were relegated to the shelves behind seedier shops and adult stores. Mystique, like many other chancers making shitty games, folded during the Video Game Crash of 1983.
Does the game still hold up? FUCK NO!!! The game was a bad idea to begin with, and its execution was worse. Video game collectors will want to hunt for Custer’s Revenge on the second-hand market for completion’s sake. Hopefully, they won’t play the game!
Good: Uhh…the game works?
Bad: Everything about the game
Final score: 1/10
