Autobots…cower in shame!

Cast: Mark Walhberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, Laura Haddock, Santiago Cabrera, Isabela Moner, Jerrod Carmichael, Stanley Tucci, Liam Garrigan, Peter Cullen

Director: Michael Bay

Synopsis: Autobots and Decepticons are at war, with humans on the sidelines. Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth.

Review:

Before I start I want to thank Michelle Mena for coordinating this event to see Transformer the Last Knight. It was a fun night and great prizes.

Now let me warn you all this review is not for the faint of heart. I’m not pleased with what Michael Bay brought to this movie. With that being said enjoy the review.

This fucking movie was hot garbage in the sun! I never felt so out of place and lost! This movie starts off with kids that we are never going to see again except Izabella (Isabela Moner) and her trash can with wheels, Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is the damn hero again, and we have a couple of returns from the older movies. The biggest and weakest one was Shia LeBoeuf’s Sam Witwicky…in picture form. We also get standard Michael Bay tropes like the token black guy Jimmy (Jerrod Carmichael, who btw was funny at times), and of course TONS OF ROBOTS WE ARE NEVER GOING TO REMEMBER!!!!

Yes, we have a new gang of Decepticons, like the one motorcycle one that acts like a bad ass, and the other one that looks like Darkness from Legend. Come on you know them, right??!? OF COURSE NOT, because they were made up and never talked about ever!!!!! But I loved the cars in this movie. Yeah, I’m a sucker for cars. Honestly, the cars are what had my hooked. They’re the reason why, from a scale from 1-10 of hate, I give it a 9 and not a 10.

Did I mention this is a two-and-a-half-hour movie??? This move could have easily been an hour and a half and maybe less if it wasn’t for the stupid area shots, fucking plot holes, and the silly intro that made the Decepticons look like Suicide Squad.

Also, this bastard Michael Bay said this was the last Transformers film. Well, with him or not, there is an after-credit part in the movie that hints at more. This movie was just purely dumb and honestly, it needs to be done over. I want my childhood back damn it!!!!

I wish I could have enjoyed this movie but I noticed something which caught me off guard. My little nephew was laughing and enjoyed this film and so did others. Am I the wrong one? Am I not seeing the beauty of this film? At times, I wish I could enjoy a film like this without being such a nag, but I can’t help what I see. I’m not the only one, either. But does it matter? Will you still watch it even if I tell you it’s the worst thing you ever will see and your childhood was raped? Only God knows. But if you do go see it, please tell me if you enjoyed the film or not or if I was right.

Good: It ended; the vehicles are awesome

Bad: It’s a Michael Bay Transformers movie!

Verdict: 2 out of 10